Hodge Podge

Here, Hawkins looks ready to join Tony Soprano's gang of thugs.



And this is the first GOOD picture Scott and I have taken together. (Though, I am not in love with my hair...) It was taken at the wedding we went to on Saturday. Jeannette had to take about five to get one good one. She hasn't quite learned the "from the chest up" rule. I had to crop it myself. She wouldn't know the rule, though, because she is tall and has never lost her "power-walking" physique. There are very defined rules for this sport. Ask her about them sometime...

So, it's been a few days. I was sick Sunday and Monday. Seriously so. I threw up for two days straight. I don't know what it was, but I do know that there were a few moments during that time where I actually welcomed the end. I think Hawkins may have passed something on to me from where else? The babysitter's! This may also have been mixed with what I drank on Saturday night. Scott gave me free reign that evening and let's just say, I took it. I really wanted to be able to go out with Molly, but she was tired and so Steve, Jenn, Brian and I hit the Monkey Wrench. Steve floated me seeing as how my purse was so tiny, I couldn't even fit my wallet inside. Now, compared with the old days (pre-Hawkins), I really didn't drink much. But I just can't handle myself like I could before (although, there are those that would say I really couldn't handle myself then either...). Regardless, I had too much to drink and was not feeling too hot the next morning. Then around 10am, I just started throwing up, and didn't stop until Monday evening. Scott was a Saint as usual, but I still had to take care of Hawkins some between puking. It was hard. I felt terrible because he seemed to notice that I wasn't enjoying him. He didn't eat much on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, and though seemed to be in a good mood, he was also spitting up a lot. Projectile. It was lovely. Monday, he started eating like his usual piggy self again, however. And so now, we're all in the clear and feeling good.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. For once, it's not because of the kid. I'll wake up around 4am and then just start thinking. And I'll think until the alarm goes off at 6am. Things are going pretty well for Scott and I. We try to be the best people we can be, and though, we sometimes fail, we try to forgive easily. I truly think we have a wonderful future ahead of us. But every once in awhile, I remember that our agendas aren't the only ones in the universe. There exist forces outside of US beyond our control. There are even people in the world that don't like us. We are both pretty likeable, but sometimes people want to think the worst of others. And we're going to have to deal with these people for the rest of our lives. We're going to have to deal with children who don't like Hawkins when he gets older. And we'll have to teach him how to deal with them. And right now, I can honestly say that I don't know how to deal with these people. How do I make sure he's strong? How do I ensure that he isn't too affected by those that may want to hurt him or make him feel insignificant? I spent so long making myself feel insignificant, and it's just been in the last few years that I got some confidence. So, when others started making me feel insignificant, I wasn't sure how to react. I'm still not. You can't just get mad. It only hurts you. So, the best I can come up with RIGHT NOW is a little somethin' per the Unc C... try and think the best of others whether they think the best of you or not. Try to see beneath the exterior of someone trying to hurt you and look for their scars, for their hurt, and then forgive them. Maybe I'll have something a bit better and more rehearsed when Hawkins needs Scott and I's guidance on this. That's all I've got at this point, though, and if you can't follow a priest's advice on this subject... when can you?

Sorry to get so serious so early in the morning, but it's been brewing and I had to talk it out with myself and I thought the blog was a good way to do it. Maybe I'll get some freakin' sleep now.

I've also just recently learned that a good number of relatives and friends will be convening for Hawkins' baptism. Although, I'm excited about this, it does create some stress. The real issue? I just want everyone to like everyone. And you can never quite tell how people will react to each other. I guess we'll see. So, I think we're going to kick the baptism festivities off on Saturday with some good old fashioned gambling at Churchill Downs. There's nothing like losing money to bring people together, right? And I'm still trying to come up with a game plan for that evening. It should be a good group, however.

Well, there's a professor I work with that is determined to make me like beets. And so I'm going to try one final recipe: Borscht. The good thing about this dish is that beets is only one of many ingredients. It's Russian; and although, Russians aren't exactly known for their tasty cuisine, I'm going to give it a try. We'll see.

In today's box from the farm, we've got lots more greens, some carrots (which will be turned into baby food), some broccoli, snow peas, garlic, and MORE basil among other things (like more GD beets!). I'd really like to know when the growing season for beets ends. I'm sick of the pressure. I'm going to give my cabbage soup another try. On Saturday, I made my version of Italian wedding soup. Unfortunately, I put too many pasta stars in it and within seconds my beautiful soup, had turned to Italian wedding mush. And our biggest pot was already overflowing so I couldn't add water. Saint Scott hates waste and so he's been trying to eat it up, but it ain't pretty. I think I'm going to bring some for lunch tomorrow to pitch in on getting rid of it. So, this weekend, on top of the parish picnic, I'm going to make some more soup. And make the borscht. Hmmm...

I'm excited about the parish picnic. It'll be a chance for Scott and I to meet some people. I just hope we aren't the youngest people there. If anyone, and I mean ANYONE, wants to accompany us, just say the word!

I didn't drink coffee for three days b/c of the illness and so now I'm craving it like crazy. I may need to buy another coffee. Scott has challenged me to spend only $12/week. I'm serious, y'all. That's my spending money. In return, within a month or two, I get to buy a fancy coffee maker, espresso machine. No one except me quite understands how much this could save us. Let's just say, we may be able to afford to send Hawkins to college after all. I lobbied for getting the coffee maker before I actually had to sacrifice for it, but Scott insists that it will mean more if I do without. I don't like this kind of thinking one bit, but he's the boss (sometimes)...

That's all I've got for today.

Peace.